Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

There's no way Republican Trump won all seven swing states. How was he able to cheat and steal the election?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

It’s still here.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Where the Stock Market Stands Now After a Wild Start to the Year - Bloomberg.com

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

I had run out of hope.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Why is the First Amendment referred to as a right to free speech instead of an immunity from punishment for one's words, regardless of their truthfulness?

The sadness was still there.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Be who you already are.

Fixing the Phoenix Suns: Retooling the roster in 6 steps - Bright Side Of The Sun

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

I was tired of trying and failing.

I was tired of fighting.

I have been married for 34 years, and I found out my wife lied, and cheated a lot back before we got married. Does she not change, or is it possible she is still a cheater?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Ananda Lewis chose 'natural' cancer care over conventional treatment. Many others do too -- and it's risky - ABC News

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Ana de Armas Is a Battle-Weary Ballerina - Jacobin

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Why do you think most harem anime and manga have lame male protagonists that would be considered losers and pathetic by most people?

It’s here now, writing to you.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

South Africa’s emotional WTC triumph: Proteas win first major cricket trophy in 27 years - AP News

You are like me, then.

And the sadness?